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Mortal Butt Surfer Question:Kind of a weird situation...

Two very different groups have invited me to show up this weekend, one on Sat. and the other on Sun. The first group consists of a surfer (and his buddies) who travels around the world and has strong local backing who is turning 40 tomorrow. Shortboarders only, except for a few weirdos like me and an old longboarder who are being grandfathered into a contest designed so the Birthday boy will win.

SurferX Answer to Mortal Butt Surfer
SurferX recomends that when in Rome, do as the Romans.
A true waterman would not want to be the sideshow for the Local Romans. Of course SurferX understands even Rome needs it's token freaks for the locals to feel better about themselves. Leave the tiny covered canoe at home and bring the short board on both days.

SurferX Story:

SurferX was enjoying the wind and waves of a cat4 hurricane, when SurferX noticed a 18" RoadStar aluminum trailer home had been blown onto the beach and then made it out past the breakers via the rip, intact and floating. For fun SurferX got on the roadstar, made the first big drop and ripped through the barrel of a small 40'wave. Perhaps with quad fins SurferX may have been able to carve better and attain air with the roadstar, unfortunately the roadstar came finless.
SurferX lesson, or short explanation for the slow mortals.
""In big surf, even the roadstars can surf""

MortalKook Ranting:

..I got a new short board. Let's paddle out and see what you can do.
Are you a true "waterman"? Or are you some annonymous kook, hiding behind your keyboard, staying at home so you can rub your pussy?

SurferX answers angry MortalKook:
SurferX understands your pain, so much potential talent for a mortal wrapped in a blanket of anger. Perhaps in your next life you may reach peace and be invited on more surf trips.